A friend of mine recently posted about her 15 month old’s strong preference for all things Princess, about half way through the post, she touches on an issue that is rather close to home:
…I’m really happy about my current arrangement of being at home full-time, except on Tuesdays, the one day Sonya goes to daycare and I go to the hospital for resident teaching. Honestly, I don’t want this to end. And then it occurred to me, it doesn’t have to.
I can relate to that feeling. I’m home full-time, except on Thursday afternoons, when Oliver stays at home with Gavin and I go help the Real Estate Agent I worked for before Oliver was born. I like this arrangement. I get an afternoon “out” and Gavin and Oliver get to bond. I am grateful that we have the opportunity for things to work out this way.
A little further down she talks about choices, and being content.
…I can make choices, no matter what external pressures might be trying to control my decisions. I may not know how those choices are ultimately going to work out, but I’ve got the freedom to choose, anyway.
I think I have a new energy and a new purpose that I haven’t had for several months. I always knew, in my heart of hearts, I think, that while I enjoy being a doctor and helping people, it doesn’t fill my soul like it should, as I know it does for some of my colleagues. The reality is: my contribution to the world is going to be something different.
But for right now, I belong to Princess Sonya and King Drex, and I’m content in this provincial life.*
Some people have openly questioned my choices, my marriage, my decisions (parenting and otherwise), and what I’m doing with my life. Shouldn’t I be doing more? Apparently a college educated woman should be doing more with her life. What do I do all day with a 20-month old? Breastfeeding perpetuates the patriarchy! So does having kids, but we keep doing that anyway to help perpetuate the species, does perpetuating the species automatically include perpetuating the patriarchy? But I digress. I also have more important things to think about.
What am I doing with my life? I’m raising the Future. I’m doing my best to raise a curious little fellow who feels at home puttering around his play kitchen, scrubbing burners, a little fellow who loves to read, dance, explore, and climb. Who feels at home on a playground or at SFMOMA.
I’ve grown rather fond of this little town, this quiet village, and this provencial life.