Have a fantastic day Mr. Tele-marketer

Attention Tele-marketers (or inside-sales people, whatever you want to call yourselves), if you’re going to call be prepared.

I have done inside-sales and worked with people doing inside-sales. There is an art to it, you do your research, you look up your potential person, you have their information, if it is a company or school you look up their website and have some factoids that can support your sale. If its an individual, have some statistics about the product readily available and ask to confirm the information you (should) already have.

Have a phone that works, if your phone connection is bad I won’t be able to hear you. Yes, it is *your* phone that is at fault, ours works just fine. If you say hello five or six times, then clearly your phone has issues. I heard you, but you weren’t listening.

Clearly explain what you’re offering before you start asking for details.

About details, you should know my city, state and zip code. I should not have to give them to you, and if you don’t already know my home address, don’t bother calling. I’m not going to disclose that information over the phone, especially when you haven’t explained why you’re calling.

Don’t sound so shocked when I ask *why* you want the information. The connection on the phone is bad, and don’t be more surprised when I tell you I’m not interested. We already canceled our local paper subscription (grocery cart theft made the front page, thrilling reading let me tell you), and they have crazies who call to try to get us to re-subscribe.

Your 30-day free trial offer sounds sketchy, especially because you don’t seem to know where Sebastapol is, you don’t know my name, and you don’t already have our address.

Have a fantastic day Mr. Tele-marketer, good luck duping someone else out of their information, you will not dupe me!

2 thoughts on “Have a fantastic day Mr. Tele-marketer

  1. I love your writing. I think you ought to have a column in that local paper that has boring front page news and crazy subscriber callers. I’d read it if it had your column in it!


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