For fun I got Sahara from Netflix. The movie is loosely based on the novel by Clive Cussler.

From the moment I inserted the DVD into the iMac I began to have second thoughts. It stars Matthew McConaughey (not that there’s anything wrong with that, he’s hot and all, but he’s not what I envisioned Dirk Pitt –the main character in all of Cussler’s books– to be like). McConaughey is too pretty to be Dirk Pitt (he also doesn’t have enough scars. ) He also looks better as a blond.

The person playing Pitt’s side kick, Al is woefully inadequate. The person playing the Admiral Sandecker is also hardly up to my standards.

Of course the entire premise of the movie (based on the even more far fetched book). “… Sahara sets the daring adventurer on a mission to save the world from destruction. While investigating a deadly water-bourne epidemic along the Nile, Pitt uncovers a secret dating back to Lincoln’s assassination and battles an evil industrialist bent on killing every living thing in the world’s oceans.”

Now, why would any one intentionally wipe out every living thing in the word’s oceans. Naturally the most logical place for such a despotic business man to make his headquarters is the middle of Africa (in the middle of nowhere Africa) where the leader is (fictions) and a despot warlord himself.

The idea is that “solar energy to destroy the worlds toxins” but as Ms. Cruz’s character is so quick to point out the toxins are seeping into the under ground water systems slowly poisoning Africa, and as another character points out the poison will eventually get to the Atlantic and destroy everything.

Of course the Business Man and the Dictator are in a mess of payoffs. The Business Man suddenly grows a conscious and wants to stop the toxin shipments. The Dictator is not as thrilled and insists the payments continue. It’s a bit of a mess and a sticky situation for both sides.

Pitt trapes across the desert to try and convince the resistance to fight and help stop the Dictator and save the world’s water supply. After some unconventional maneuvering he manages to save the world, and the girl. What a shock there.He also finds the boat he’s looking for and uncovers a massive US Govmt. conspiracy (in the book the cover-up is even more massive).

On the bright side, there was a highly amusing somewhat redeeming boat chase, followed by an explosion, however, I would not say that alone made up for the rest of the film’s flaws.

The camel-train chase sequence was also amusing, but what sort of idiots crawl into a train marked biohazard?

Of course if the movie is that bad then why am I watching it? Gavin is playing WoW and I’m in denial about the apartment and the impending move date.

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